{"id":1705,"date":"2003-09-04T21:47:00","date_gmt":"2003-09-05T01:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles-wp\/?p=1705"},"modified":"2003-09-04T21:47:00","modified_gmt":"2003-09-05T01:47:00","slug":"bacterial-bukkake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles\/2003\/09\/04\/21\/47\/bacterial-bukkake\/","title":{"rendered":"Bacterial Bukkake"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I read this <a href=\"http:\/\/www.abcnews.go.com\/sections\/wnt\/SciTech\/clouds_krulwich030902.html\">article, about the &#8220;weight&#8221; of clouds<\/a>, and aside from the interesting revelation of a new measurement of weight (units of &#8220;elephant&#8221;, preferable to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.straightdope.com\/classics\/a980313a.html\">747s<\/a>, apparently), I was disappointed to find nobody calculated the weight of the bacteria within the clouds. Cloud condensation nuclei can be windblown dust, sea-salt, or exhaust from combustion&#8230; but a large fraction of the condensation nuclei are also bacteria. In a functional sense, bacteria create clouds that produce localised temperature differentials and air currents through evaporation and condensation heat exchange, the effect of which conveys the bacteria enormous distances to a new locale. Whereupon the clouds release the bacteria embedded in raindrops or mist and the bacteria fall to the surface to find new food sources and begin multiplying again. In a very real sense, when you see fluffy white clouds, you are looking at bacterial migratory reproductive organs. And when it rains you are getting a bacterial <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Bukkake\">bukkake<\/a>&#8230; I note further that this will be the first appearance of the phrase <i><a href=\"http:\/\/www.google.com\/search?q=%22bacterial+bukkake%22\">bacterial bukkake<\/a><\/i> in Google.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I read this article, about the &#8220;weight&#8221; of clouds, and aside from the interesting revelation of a new measurement of weight (units of &#8220;elephant&#8221;, preferable to 747s, apparently), I was disappointed to find nobody&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1705","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1705"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1705\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meehawl.com\/Blogfiles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}