Minivan SUV Slaughter of the Innocents

Future social historians will undoubtedly find one of the major paradoxes of this age was the purchase of kid-killing minivans by child-transporting parents.

When a minivan with a third-row occupant is hit from behind, the occupant is killed half the time, according to a Ford Motor analysis … when somebody is back there, it’s usually a child. Adults won’t even fit many of the latest third-row designs.

Of course, paradoxes and automobiles are nothing new. Eco-conscious SUV drivers crack me up, especially when they stick little patriotic US flags on their oversize ugly behemoths – the flags reduce already terrible fuel efficiency by another few mpg, making the US even more dependent on the Saudis. And the “futuristic” 1950s and 1960s growth of body fins and dashboard protruberances impaled and ripped the tender flesh of drivers and pedestrians alike.