Monkey Sex Magic

One of the greatest learning experiences of my childhood was watching “Monkey” (Saiyki). Because of the bad dubbing and incomprehensible Buddhist allusions, I had very little idea of what the fuck was going on most of the time, but there was lots of kung fu kicking, a fair bit of magic, and the weirdly hot, androgynous Masako Natsume as a Buddhist monk “Tripitaka“.

Imagine my surprise, then, to read in WaiWai that the guy who played “Monkey”, Masaaki Sakai, is at the centre of a saucy sex scandal. Sakai’s ex-wife, Miri Okada, is being sued by the porn-lite Kyoko and Mika Kano “sisters” for alleging that the Kano sisters attempted to seduce her Monkey husband into some sort of silicone-enhanced gang bang.

Apparently, the sisters are not so upset by the allegation that they would try to engage in sisterly orgies, but are more upset that they are alleged to have tried to ride an older man. Since most of their fanbase consists of sexually confused Japanese tweens and teens for whom the 30-something plasticised sisters titillatingly present both maternal/incestuous and pornographic cues, going for someone so “old” is a career killer for them, removing them from a Paris Hilton aspirational youth porn demographic and placing them firmly and unambiguously in Liza Minelli territory.