meehawl

all that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned

Ravine Assault

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I had been grabbed from behind, pulled into the bushes, beaten, and sexually assaulted. Helpless and entirely at my assailant’s mercy, I talked to him, trying to appeal to his humanity, and, when that failed, addressing myself to his self-interest. He called me a whore and told me to shut up. Although I had said I’d do whatever he wanted, as the sexual assault began I instinctively fought back, which so enraged my attacker that he strangled me until I lost consciousness.
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People ask me if I have recovered now, and I reply that it depends on what that means. If they mean am I back to where I was before the attack, I have to say no, and I never will be. I am not the same person who set off, singing, on that sunny fourth of July in the French countryside. I left her in a rocky creek bed at the bottom of a ravine. I had to in order to survive. The trauma has changed me for ever

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